Facebook Terrorists, Stalkers and Tell-It-Alls

Why does so many on Facebook have to let everybody know everything about his or her lives? As an example, I have a friend who writes on her wall how mad she is at her boyfriend (who she lives and has two kids with.) He has Facebook also so he knows and see everything she tell the world when she write how hopeless, ugly, fat and stupid he is. Nothing he does or say is good enough and she has to report it all. So far I have had a quite fun time on Facebook, found old friends and new ones  also. Have blocked tons of quizzes and requests, ignore all the status spam’s like” Copy this if you are a mother and love your children” Well duh, of course I love my son, but why l would I have that as a status? I know it he knows it and guess everybody I know already guessed it.

Other types that can be difficult to have around are:

  • The Town Crier. “Michael Jackson is dead!!!” You heard it from me first!  Me, and the 213,000 other people who all saw it on TMZ. And also, suddenly everybody is a fan of that dead person..
  • The Chronic Inviter. “Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which ‘Star Trek’ character are you? Here are the ‘Top 5 cars I have personally owned.’ Here is ’25 Things About Me.’ Here’s a drink. What drink are you? We’re related! Which Simpson figure are you?” Simply those who send requests to every one of their friends for every app, event, group, and fan page they come across.
  • The Friend Whore. These people have hundreds of friends that they’ve never even met or talked to. They usually troll groups and fan pages to find new people to boost their friend count.
  • The Friend-Every-One-I’ve-Ever-Met Guy. Similar to the Friend Whore, these are the people who add anyone that seem somewhat familiar. They are the people who hated you in high school, but send you a Facebook friend request out of the blue or the guy you just met at that party last weekend and talked to for all of two minutes.
  • The Privacy Hypocrite. These Facebook users complain about the lack of privacy on Facebook, but post every detail of their life, from what they had for breakfast two years ago to their social security number.
  • The Constant Updater. These are the ones who post every minute detail of their lives as status updates. They genuinely think that their friends want to know when they wake up, go to bed, eat, and go to the bathroom. They also make sure to warn their friends if they are going to be away from Facebook for more than ten seconds, just so no one worries if it takes a whole minute for them to reply
  • The Political Activist. The Political Activist uses their status updates to attempt to sway the opinions of their Facebook friends. They don’t realize that the average Facebook user won’t leave Farmville long enough to vote anyway.
  • The Liker. These people “like” every status update their friends post, but rarely post a comment about why they liked it.
  • The “It’s Complicated” Guy. Maybe if these people spent less time on Facebook, they’d actually know if they are in a relationship or not and wouldn’t have to use “it’s complicated” as their relationship status.
  • The Sympathy-Baiter. “Barbara is feeling sad today.” “Man, am I glad that’s over.” “Jim could really use some good news about now.” Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks — baited with vague tales of woe — in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.
  • The Paparazzo. Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone’s posted a photo of you from last weekend’s party — a photo you didn’t authorize and haven’t even seen? You’d really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.

You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop. I don’t care what president I am — can’t we simply be friends? Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.


Posted in Mix

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